Today marked the beginning day of me as NEET- Not in Employment, Education and Training. For roughly five months working as an auditor, I learnt so many things, not only about accounting, but more towards soft skills enhancement and character developing.
There were times I cried, but there were also times of joy that made me hunger for more recognition and it was not from anyone but from myself. I strove for self-pleasure in everything I do, which makes me somewhat a prideful person. I was scolded, shun, hated, discriminated, being given sarcastic comments and all made me become an even better employee.
When Kak Wati called me to go back in the office after interview session was over, I could feel my guts was tingling with excitement. Did I pass the interview? Did I get the job? I passed the interview and got the position.
It was an achievement for me who is a Diploma holder and has no working experience even for a week. I still remember Miss Sarina's words to me on my first day of work. Encouragement and the best wish of luck. It was one of the greatest moments of my life.
I proved myself to be different than others since I was in primary school. My principles, habits and personality are extremely different and annoying to many Malays- my own race. I called bosses Sir, Miss and Madam instead of Encik, Cik and Puan. Maybe because they never had such employee addressed them in English that they found me promising. Trust and confidence they showed for me made me felt accepted in the firm, but not among my colleague.
I was isolated and shun. For almost the whole months I worked there, I faced difficulties to get along with them. Seniors were reluctant to include in their conversation, leaving me on my own accord stumbling here and there as I tried to match their pace in work and commented my performance as they wished.
The pain and poison that they spit to me- they made me cried so many times and days. Thanks to them, I was ready to resign many times but Alhamdulillah I did not. I held on but if you ask me what I was holding on to? It was the words of trust and confidence from Miss Sarina.
The fight, the discrimination, the hypocrite acts- they all taught me the life as an adult is nothing close to those anime I watch and manga I read. In work, you need to have thick skin. Office politic is just so norm.
I wonder why. Why can't humans just get along like how kids are?
People become hypocrite when it comes to work, for what?
This wavered my principles and because they made their demons cornered me to the walls, I incidentally brought my demon out as well. Tension existed and lasted for as long as I remember between seniors and I.
They called me arrogant- but I was simply a high confident person.
They called me attention whore - but I was simply being childish.
It affected me mentally and physically that during Raya this year, everyone said I looked skinny- at least by built shape maintains muscular not just bones only.
The last of my work I felt extremely grateful and special. Called me self-conscious but I felt they did the open house on that day for me. I told Mama we had open house and she said perhaps it was a farewell party for me.
I know, I was being too high of myself.
But then again, they can always pick another day to do the open house. So why today? After all the downs and critical blow of disappointment of my work, I was not feeling happy and very down to say goodbye to everyone. I was ashamed.
I cried when I talked to Miss Sarina for the last time. She called me in rather serious tone which made me shivered in fear. Will I be scolded for my work again? Actually no. Once she put down her phone, she gave me the warmest smile I could ever see and asked, today is your last day right?
You know, the words made me felt so happy. It was like having someone told me it's your birthday when you thought everyone forgot about it. She told me she has no deep hatred on me and her scoldings were simply to teach me and train me. After all, she has reputation to take care of. This is a professional firm, so perfection is needed.
Through our conversation, there is a promising future for me in the firm. Me- who forever be grateful of her, will definitely come back to her call. I tried not to cry because there is nothing to cry out. So I walked out of the office with my shoulders up.
Miss Sarina, Encik Shahril.Encik Mukhriz, Puan Haliza, Encik Kamarul, Kak Wati, Kak Dina.
Thank you for everything. The trust, the knowledge, the experience, the love and the memories I earned working in the firm- I thank you. In the future, if Allah permits, we will meet again Insya Allah.
Goodbye, but this is not for forever.
There were times I cried, but there were also times of joy that made me hunger for more recognition and it was not from anyone but from myself. I strove for self-pleasure in everything I do, which makes me somewhat a prideful person. I was scolded, shun, hated, discriminated, being given sarcastic comments and all made me become an even better employee.
When Kak Wati called me to go back in the office after interview session was over, I could feel my guts was tingling with excitement. Did I pass the interview? Did I get the job? I passed the interview and got the position.
It was an achievement for me who is a Diploma holder and has no working experience even for a week. I still remember Miss Sarina's words to me on my first day of work. Encouragement and the best wish of luck. It was one of the greatest moments of my life.
I proved myself to be different than others since I was in primary school. My principles, habits and personality are extremely different and annoying to many Malays- my own race. I called bosses Sir, Miss and Madam instead of Encik, Cik and Puan. Maybe because they never had such employee addressed them in English that they found me promising. Trust and confidence they showed for me made me felt accepted in the firm, but not among my colleague.
I was isolated and shun. For almost the whole months I worked there, I faced difficulties to get along with them. Seniors were reluctant to include in their conversation, leaving me on my own accord stumbling here and there as I tried to match their pace in work and commented my performance as they wished.
The pain and poison that they spit to me- they made me cried so many times and days. Thanks to them, I was ready to resign many times but Alhamdulillah I did not. I held on but if you ask me what I was holding on to? It was the words of trust and confidence from Miss Sarina.
The fight, the discrimination, the hypocrite acts- they all taught me the life as an adult is nothing close to those anime I watch and manga I read. In work, you need to have thick skin. Office politic is just so norm.
I wonder why. Why can't humans just get along like how kids are?
People become hypocrite when it comes to work, for what?
This wavered my principles and because they made their demons cornered me to the walls, I incidentally brought my demon out as well. Tension existed and lasted for as long as I remember between seniors and I.
They called me arrogant- but I was simply a high confident person.
They called me attention whore - but I was simply being childish.
It affected me mentally and physically that during Raya this year, everyone said I looked skinny- at least by built shape maintains muscular not just bones only.
The last of my work I felt extremely grateful and special. Called me self-conscious but I felt they did the open house on that day for me. I told Mama we had open house and she said perhaps it was a farewell party for me.
I know, I was being too high of myself.
But then again, they can always pick another day to do the open house. So why today? After all the downs and critical blow of disappointment of my work, I was not feeling happy and very down to say goodbye to everyone. I was ashamed.
I cried when I talked to Miss Sarina for the last time. She called me in rather serious tone which made me shivered in fear. Will I be scolded for my work again? Actually no. Once she put down her phone, she gave me the warmest smile I could ever see and asked, today is your last day right?
You know, the words made me felt so happy. It was like having someone told me it's your birthday when you thought everyone forgot about it. She told me she has no deep hatred on me and her scoldings were simply to teach me and train me. After all, she has reputation to take care of. This is a professional firm, so perfection is needed.
Through our conversation, there is a promising future for me in the firm. Me- who forever be grateful of her, will definitely come back to her call. I tried not to cry because there is nothing to cry out. So I walked out of the office with my shoulders up.
Miss Sarina, Encik Shahril.Encik Mukhriz, Puan Haliza, Encik Kamarul, Kak Wati, Kak Dina.
Thank you for everything. The trust, the knowledge, the experience, the love and the memories I earned working in the firm- I thank you. In the future, if Allah permits, we will meet again Insya Allah.
Goodbye, but this is not for forever.
Labels: auditor life, Life&lols, work life
